Something To offend Everyone.

Category: Joke Board

Post 1 by fuzzy101 (The master of fuzz!!) on Thursday, 29-Jun-2006 18:33:14

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan

What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts?

Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What! do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.

What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.

! Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo"

Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?!
They named him "Sum Ting Wong"

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?! < /I>
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time... - A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit...

Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides

Post 2 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Thursday, 29-Jun-2006 18:51:15

lolololol

Post 3 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Thursday, 29-Jun-2006 18:54:26

lol ha ha ha That was good, thanks.

Post 4 by sparkie (the hilljack) on Thursday, 29-Jun-2006 20:47:57

Ya know, I really enjoy your jokes, keep them coming!
Troy

Post 5 by laced-unlaced (Account disabled) on Friday, 30-Jun-2006 4:16:13

lol. good jokes there

Post 6 by Goblin (I have proven to myself and the world that I need mental help) on Saturday, 01-Jul-2006 8:36:30

Good 1 smile

Post 7 by fuzzy101 (The master of fuzz!!) on Wednesday, 06-Aug-2008 1:43:17

I was reminded of this one.

Post 8 by blindndangerous (the blind and dangerous one) on Wednesday, 06-Aug-2008 17:42:38

lol excellent.

Post 9 by Geek Girl (The Sexiest Geek you will ever find!) on Wednesday, 06-Aug-2008 19:35:09

very very good hahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahahaha

d to think i was not offend at all. omg how cool is that, sorry a bit of sarcastism there! lol

Post 10 by Eleni21 (I have proven to myself and the world that I need mental help) on Wednesday, 06-Aug-2008 21:56:04

Oh man! I couldn't stop laughing! Keep them coming.

Post 11 by Reyami (I've broken five thousand! any more awards going?) on Sunday, 17-Aug-2008 9:09:56

roflmao! loved those. very nice.

Post 12 by brad (Newborn Zoner) on Monday, 08-Sep-2008 17:40:43

lololol they were grate post more

Post 13 by Miss Gorgeous (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Monday, 22-Sep-2008 23:04:48

Hey, that was funny. Laough out loud. That was a load of craziness.

Post 14 by SunshineAndRain (I'm happily married, a mom of two and a fulltime college student.) on Monday, 22-Sep-2008 23:59:44

They were great. I just don't get the one about the Italian. Can someone explain it?

Post 15 by fuzzy101 (The master of fuzz!!) on Tuesday, 23-Sep-2008 23:24:12

It's amazing, for those of you that want to see more stuff from me then I suggest you go way back. I didn't think this post would generate this much attention. As for the italian one, I think they wave there arms a lot when they talk.

Post 16 by EssenceOfFaith (The Creamy Apple) on Wednesday, 24-Sep-2008 13:13:00

THose are good ones! I read them to my friends on ventrilo.

Post 17 by Cyrus1 (Newborn Zoner) on Friday, 26-Sep-2008 15:44:04

lol nice

Post 18 by soaring eagle (flying high again!) on Monday, 29-Sep-2008 14:26:37

hahahahahaha, some I have seen before, but a few new ones hahaha

Post 19 by SEPTEMBER-TWILIGHT (CAN I TALK? PLEASE?) on Monday, 29-Sep-2008 15:11:20

those are really good jokes, lol, you should them coming. made me laugh

Post 20 by midnight sun (you can't catch me, i'm the palobread man) on Monday, 29-Sep-2008 17:41:35

yeah, about the italians, they wave like hell especially in animated arguments... trust me, i've been accidentally hit a few times. lol

Post 21 by Elenhiia (Feather'rr'rr'rr'rr'rr'rr'rr'rr'rr'rr for president!) on Saturday, 08-Nov-2008 13:40:02

Oh, that's so terrible, lol anyway.

Post 22 by tear drop (No longer looking for a prince, merely a pauper with potential!!!!!) on Friday, 28-Nov-2008 23:33:03

I love you herb. more please?

Post 23 by Sword of Sapphire (Whether you agree with my opinion or not, you're still gonna read it!) on Wednesday, 31-Dec-2008 11:55:24

roflrofl lmaoooooo! This is too hilarious! Love it! Keep up the good work.